Sonya Sophia Video Blog: Courage
“I was sitting in a open aired tepee in the middle of the desert. With red and orange silk material covering the celling. The air was warm and thick. I had been up for six days strait. The anxiety and fear that I had in my normal life was heightened to max capacity. All of the sleeping pills I had been taking for years to fall asleep I had left at home. They would usually knock me out to cover up the anxiety and fear. But here, there was no way to get sleep. I was camping and music was blasting 24 hours a day. My mind was on sensory overload.
An elegant woman walks onto the teepee stage in front of an audience of about seventy-five people. She is oddly dressed, in an elaborate golden gown. She looks like a Goddess. I can’t sit still my body is electric. I’m twitching and loosing my shit. My mind is racing. I have had maybe four hours of sleep in six days. What if I die here? What if the elements, the exhaustion causes me to have a stroke or a heart attack?
In my normal life I thought about death everyday. I thought about suicide everyday. A new found friend in my camp, a man from Montana who drives an RV every year to get here told me I better get over to see this woman. He went to her a few years back and said that she had “cleared” some blocks in him that had been causing him grief for years. He said she guided people in a tapping technique that is used for people that have PTSD.
Sonya Sophia started to lead us in an EFT meditation of sorts, only it was open-eyed. She gave us meridian points on the body to tap on. While tapping on those she gave us things to say. “Even though I have this issue....I love and accept myself”. That was the moment that everything came together. In that one moment I realized why I had been depressed, felt alone, isolated, had anxiety about the world, had trouble with relationships, and had felt like I had been locked up in a house looking out at the world not being able to enjoy it.
My six year old self was a terrified, socially stunted, depressed little girl. She had spent many years with a mentally ill woman who accidentally dumped all her views and stories of the world on a little girl who soaked them up like a sponge. This younger version of myself was stuck inside of me and I couldn’t grow or be healthy until this had been resolved. I heard Sonya's voice in the meditation saying “go over to the little girl and tell her your sorry you couldn’t get to her sooner.” At this point I
am sobbing and shaking and heat and energy is coming out of my body. I realize that the fear I was feeling was trapped energy trying to come out of my body. After the EFT session at Red Lightning with Sonya Sophia, I went up to her and gave her a huge hug and told her that I found the little girl. And that she saved my life.”
- Jasmine Richards, NJ
I grew up in an abusive conservative catholic household in the south. I've always known I was gay and when I was outted as a teenager, my parents reacted with verbal and physical violence. It left me feeling completely broken, isolated, confused. I shoved the pain in the back and went onto college eager to get away. But in college I started to have regular panic attacks, but not just the usual anxiety about being out on my own as a young adult. They we're attacks that shook me to my core. I just remember being in my dorm room completely paralyzed in fear and darkness with no one to talk to. Because of my upbringing I had traumas and negative experiences i festering in my body and very low self-esteem and very dark and negative self-talk and self-perception. I was petrified that who I was and the path I was walking or "choosing" as a gay person would lead to damnation. I was petrified of my body, whenever I would even kiss another guy, I would panic about STD's and AIDS. In my mind and body, I had equated being gay with disease and damnation.
I found out about your work through Burning Man in 2010. I started tapping with you everyday that year and after every workshop I felt clear and enlightened. I looked up at you standing in your fabulous wild outfits, speaking with authority and authenticity, speaking truth and moving with grace. And I thought: It's possible. There is a way. It's going to take work but I can get to a place of wellness.
At that time, the world tapping circle (www.worldtappingcircle.com) had not been created yet, but I thought, "man, if I could be in circled with Sonya regularly, I know I can just heal and clear out all this guck inside me. I tried tapping on my own for years and when I was able to find a safe private space I was able to process big blockages, but was never really able to maintain a practice and was unsure if i was doing it "right". I looked into other EFT practitioners but the energy was different. They didn't come with the Red Lightning energy or perspective, which I think is part of why your style of tapping works for me. It truly carries the divine feminine. It carries the vision. When I tap with you, I feel like I can tap into my higher, fuller self and I feel safe and free to let my mind and heart unravel into that "gaia, quantum, cosmic, golden age energy"
I followed your work through the years and downloaded your audio cd’s (www.sonyasophia.us) and watched your videos but was desperate for more. I wanted to delve deep but couldn't make it out to a training or to Burning Man every year. When I saw that you were developing the School of Living Arts, I was so excited and grateful! I joined the World Tapping Circle (www.worldtappingcircle.com) right as it went live and started tapping regularly. There was a little pocket park behind my house that nobody really went into and so on my days off i would go sit under some trees and tapped from the video library on my phone.. I look back on those months and it's kind of a blur. And I think it's because I have been moving so much energy.
Having the world tapping circle is really an incredible gift. I don't think I could live without it now! I tap now pretty much on a daily basis, sometimes for hours a day. I don't really know what's happening but I can see my life transforming and I FEEL BETTER THAN I EVER HAVE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Tapping and journaling has helped me go into my psyche and do a massive "spring cleaning". It's like I've been able to go in a pull all the junk out of the closets and from out of the attic and basements and just face it all and sort through ALL OF IT. In the past year, I have had memories surface from my childhood that had been long forgotten, but I have been able to clean up all the emotional sludge stored inside those experiences and move them OUT OF MY BODY. Tapping has allowed me to guard and take command of my body and mind. In the past year, I have been able to cut out very draining relationships that I was passing as "friendships", friendships where I am regularly demeaned, excluded and belittled- NO! OUT!.. Now, I have so much more space in my life FOR MYSELF and my true friends who offer me true authentic grounded love and support. One of the most challenging things that tapping is helping me navigate is rectifying and re-establishing an adult relationship with my parents and brothers. But now standing in a space of uncompromising self-respect and self-love. Even though my parents are homophobic and prejudice, I honor my truth and define my own value. I am sacred, the space of my life is sacred and I am willing to take whatever measures to protect my self-worth and to create a life of optimum health and wellness, with or without them.
I could go on and on, Sonya... but I wanted to take this opportunity to articulate to you the TREMENDOUS gift and blessing your presence and your work has been in my life. The World Tapping Circle (www.worldtappingcircle.com) is truly a beautiful creation. I feel like some of the greatest art/creations in the world, it might be ahead of it's time. I wonder if you are concerned whether or not "it's working"? IT IS WORKING FOR ME and I share it with my friends whenever I have the opportunity. I think "tapping" is still gaining a foothold in the "mainstream" but it is obvious to me that we are undergoing a huge transition on this planet, spiritually. People are awakening.
Know you are protected. We tappers love you. I hope that one day The World Tapping Circle (www.worldtappingcircle.com) is as culturally impactful as say The Oprah Winfrey Show, but maybe it doesn't need to get that big for the shift to happen to really usher us into this "new paradigm". Whatever it grows into, I'm sure it will be pure and golden and be the healing aquarian waters for the people of this planet. The age of terror and war and perversion IS OVER. WE ARE USHERING IN A NEW AGE OF LOVE AND LIGHT AND WELLNESS FOR ALL THE INHABITANTS OF THIS PLANET.
I am tapping along with you and working through my stuff and watching the signs of my own divine timing to bring forth my gifts as I'm sure all the tappers are. It's only been ONE little year! If we keep going and the people of this planet keep growing, it will catch. And tapping will be the new "yoga", the new "organic" - or at least that's what I'd like to see.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. I wish that you feel PEACE. That you have not a worry in your heart. Please keep bringing that incredible light and beauty that you possess, that you so gracefully and wonderfully allow to possess you to us. You are an inspiration and I am right here tapping it out with you, through all the tears until we see it clearly before us, in the physical world, a new healed earth.”
- Karter Douglas, Atlanta G.A.